“How many?”

in
the
course
of
conversation
children
are
mentioned
How many do you have?
How old are they?
What are their names?
panic
seizes
me
what to say?
the
reality
of
my
loss
rises
within
a
myriad
of
emotion
begin
to
surge
to
the
surface
3
or
4
what should I say?
will
I
even
be
able
to
say
his
name
his
never
changing
age?