In A Journey with Jesus, spiritual director Larry Warner guides us through the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius, similar to the way he's been leading people through them in person. Here's what he's observed: "The Spiritual Exercises helped people reconnect with Jesus and with themselves in life-giving ways. It was powerful."

Ignatius wanted to help everyone, no matter what age or stage of life, experience Jesus. Through prayers and Scripture readings that largely focus on the life of Christ, the Spiritual Exercises that have been so powerful and growth-inducing for so many, including Warner, can be a tool for transformation in you as well.

The exercises are designed to help you

• encounter the person of Jesus
• foster a deeper relational knowing of Jesus
• cultivate a greater desire and freedom to say yes to Jesus

And you don't have to go on a retreat to do it. You can start now, and grow in Christlikeness right in the midst of your life.

Are you hungry for Jesus and ready to do something about it? Are you committed to a sticking with a sustained journey of growth and formation in Christ? Then this book is for you. Open these pages, and let Warner guide you on the journey toward deeper intimacy with Jesus.

You can preorder the book at amazon.com

"The Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius is one of very few works produced by followers of Christ that reliably guides those who have seriously put their confidence in Christ onto a path where what we Christians endlessly talk about becomes the reality of daily existence. This is because Ignatius guides the disciple into experience of the things we talk about. The reality stands out in the details of what is experienced. But for most, trying to take the Exercises straight is like trying to board the airplane when it is already a hundred feet off the ground. Larry Warner's Journey with Jesus effectively brings the Exercises within reach of any disciple of Jesus ready to work with grace to turn life in the kingdom of the heavens with Jesus into their actual existence."

—Dallas Willard, author of Renovation of the Heart

"This book needs a warning label: 'Caution--serious engagement with the practices, disciplines and techniques set forth in this book will be destructive to everything in your life that is not yet conformed to the image of Jesus.' Warner has provided an invaluable resource for any who desire to live in loving union with God and to live Christlike lives in the world. Here the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius have been made accessible to contemporary believers . . . in a manner that facilitates their use in any sincere desire to know God and live with Jesus."

—Robert Mulholland, author of The Deeper Journey

"In Journey with Jesus, Larry Warner has retrieved a five-hundred-year-old spiritual practice and revealed its practical significance for Christians of the twenty-first century. This insightful and reader-friendly presentation of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola is the product of more than ten years' experience. To follow his wisdom and experience in Journey with Jesus is to discover the transforming power of the life of Jesus."

—Albert Haase, O.F.M., author of Coming Home to Your True Self

"Larry Warner has done us a great service by translating a complex sixteenth-century retreat manual (The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius) into a highly usable format that brings alive this spiritual treasure. Warner makes it possible for twenty-first-century people to engage in the Ignatian exercises that lead one into a living relationship with Jesus. I am impressed that he has been able to remain true to the original nature of the exercises even while recasting them into a contemporary context. This is not the first attempt at updating the Exercises . . . but it is, to my mind, the best such effort."

—Richard Peace, Robert Boyd Munger Professor of Evangelism and Spiritual Formation, Fuller Theological Seminary

"Contained in these pages is an experience of a lifetime, guided by a seasoned master who knows the Spiritual Exercises so well that they're his second language. Drink deeply and enjoy this adventure with Jesus."

—Jan Johnson, spiritual director and author of Spiritual Disciplines Companion and Invitation to the Jesus Life

"I have witnessed over the past years numerous students using these exercises to open their personal life to Jesus at a deep emotional level and experience the meaning of the gospel and the Scripture from the inside out. This is spiritual reading of the Word in its most meaningful sense. The reader will particularly benefit from Warner's spiritual advice that comes from years of experience with others on the journey in praying over the life of Christ."

—John Coe, director, Institute for Spiritual Formation, Talbot School of Theology

"Larry Warner brings the Exercises alive by providing the guidance, expertise and wisdom necessary to navigate the Exercises well. In both the practical and spiritual aspects of this volume, Larry leads you . . . before a God who, in the work of Christ, shows that his love is truly enough."

—Kyle Strobel, cofounder of Metamorpha.com

Hello, and welcome to the web companion for the book Journey with Jesus. The purpose of this site is to provide help for those who are journeying with others through the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. Before progressing too far, it must be stated that this website does not intend, to replace the need for the book, Journey with Jesus, but rather, presupposes that those navigating their way through this site have a copy of the book. This site will contain information not in the book, expand on some information found in the book and point you to other information contained in the book.

Preparation for Guides – Listeners – Spiritual Directors

Early on in your journey with another it will be extremely helpful for you as the guide and for those you are guiding through the Exercises that you become familiar with the following sections of the Exercises. This will provide you with an initial acquaintance with some very important pieces of the Exercises; pieces that will help those you are guiding to have a deeper and more profound journey with Jesus. These sections will provide you with tools to better help those you are guiding as they begin to struggle and experience difficulties on their journey. I recommend you reading through the following sections of Journey with Jesus at least twice initially and re-reading these each time before you meet those you are guiding through the Exercises.

Read through and become familiar with

• daily elements of the Exercises (p. 23 – 40)
• tips on how to approach the Exercises (p. 44 – 56)
• rules of discernment for Week 1 (p. 109 -115)

· rules of discernment for Week 2 (p. 150 – 154) – you can wait on this one until they proceed through the Preparatory Exercises.

• for spiritual directors and listeners (p. 280 – 287)
• glossary of terms (p. 300 – 302)

Additionally if working with a group read ‘Using the Exercises with a Group’ (p. 288)

This web companion for Journey with Jesus will provide general guidelines for those leading others through the Exercises that are found in the original introductory remarks of St Ignatius, known as the annotations. St Ignatius penned these annotations for the expressed purpose of equipping those who would be guiding people through the Exercises. We will then provide specific and general information that will relate to the various sections that make up the Exercises (Preparatory Exercises, Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4).

The information in these sections will include things for you to watch out for in those you are guiding, helpful reminders for you as a guide and other reminders to pass on to those you are guiding, struggles that may emerge at certain stages of the journey, and more. These insights are a result of my experience of having guided others through the Exercises over the past 5 plus years. During this time there have been certain patterns that have emerged in terms of struggles, temptations and the like. Although the information that follows will not pertain to every individual going through the Exercises, it is helpful for you, as the guide, to be aware of these distinct possibilities. This material will be listed out individually below so that you will be able to quickly and easily find the information that relates to the section you are guiding the individual or group through.

Insights for Guides gleaned from the Annotations [1-20] (The following is briefly covered on page 281 in Journey with Jesus but expanded here.)

Annotations: These are the opening instructions that Ignatius provided for those who will be guiding someone through the Exercises. These are tidbits of wisdom to keep in mind as you journey with another through Journey with Jesus. It may be helpful to re-read these insights before you meet with the individual you are journeying with – at least for the first few times.

1. Less is more. Do not overwhelm your person (group) with information. Keep it short and sweet. It is not about how much they know but about helping them to become aware of and relish things interiorly that is important. [2]

2. It is important for those going through the Exercises to have an openness, generosity and courage in terms of their relationship to God. These qualities are fostered in the Preparatory Exercises that begin the Journey with Jesus. [5]

3. The person going through the Exercises will experience times of consolations and desolations during their prayer times, possibly even the during the same prayer period. If there are no such movements, this needs to be explored by the guide asking about their time spent in prayer, where they pray, and how they are praying. If the person is experiencing times of consolations and desolation on various days during their prayer times it is important to name this as a good and normal time. [6]

4. When the one going through the Exercises is struggling with temptation (the temptation to quit or otherwise) and/or is in desolation, your role is to be gentle and gracious seeking to encourage, support and strengthen, while also exposing the wiles of human nature and the evil one. [7]

5. Take time to make yourself familiar with the rules of discernment (Week 1, p. 112-115 and Week 2, p. 150-154) found in Journey with Jesus. This is important so you can give instruction when needed regarding consolation and desolations explaining only what is needed at the time. The complete rules for Week 1 (p. 112-115) should be presented before the person enters into the Exercises associated with Week 1. [This can be done in bite size pieces. [8-9]

6. When the one receiving the Exercises begins to be tempted and assaulted under the appearance of good, then it is time to instruct her about the Rules of Discernment for Week 2 (p. 150-154). This may be needed early on but definitely needs to be covered some time during Week 2. [10]

7. Make sure the person is putting the prayer time in, as well as the two Examen times. Encourage them to not put in more or less time than they have committed to doing. This is important even if the prayer time seems dry and unproductive, or the person is experiencing tremendous consolations. Remember to be gracious. [12-13]

8. Be a voice of caution and reason when you feel the one receiving the Exercises makes a hasty promise or vow. This can easily take place during times of consolations, or as a reaction against desolation. [14]

9. Do not unduly influence one receiving the Exercises when, in their enthusiasm, they are opening up to God’s dream (will) for their life. Be a good listener, helping them to hear the still small voice of God. [15]

10. Be aware of any disordered attachments that may be a part of the life of the one receiving the Exercises. Help them to recognize this disordered attachment with gentleness and care, encouraging them to act contrary to those attachments and to seek to do that which is for the service, honor and glory of God. [16]

The following are the dialogue boxes that appear throughout the book. These thoughts developed as a result of my experiences of journeying through the Spiritual Exercises with individuals over the years. Each of the following represent possible struggles that retreatants have experienced as they journeyed through the Exercises. It is very helpful for you to become aware of these as there is a good chance that your retreatant may also struggle with many of these same things from time to time.

As you read through these you will notice that some are tied to a certain Week of the Exercises. You will be reminded of these in the link that pertains to that specific Week. However, these can arise at anytime, so it is good to at least have a sense of the possible issues that may arise so you are able to speak to it.

Preparatory Exercises: God Loves You

Love, Anger, Frustration and Sadness
Some who journey through this portion of the Exercises do not feel God’s love but instead feel emotions such as anger, frustration and sadness. Do not try to force yourself to feel a certain way, but rather allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and bring those feelings, as well as the issues that may birth these emotions, to God, because that will be the place God will meet you. God is not afraid of your questions or emotions. He will meet you in the midst of them. Remember, God desires honesty, so be honest and be real with God.

“I BELIEVE, Help Me With My Unbelief”
As you spend time pondering the marvelous love God has for you, you may begin to realize that you ‘know’ this but at a deeper level you do not fully believe it. Do not let this trouble you but instead repeat the prayer, “I believe, help me in my unbelief.” This is a prayer Jesus heard and answered. The love of God is a ‘one of a kind, nothing can separate you from it’ love that is hard if not impossible to fully embrace, so give yourself some time and grace as your ability to hold onto God’s love for you grows. The good news is that God’s love is always embracing you, wooing you and indwelling you.

Trying Too Hard
If you have been feeling yourself pressing to make something happen during your time in the exercises then I would encourage you to go out and buy a bottle of bubbles and keep them near your journal. Then the next time you feel yourself pressing to make something happen, pressing to do the exercise ‘right’, open your bubbles, take out the wand, and gently start blowing bubbles. As you gently blow your bubbles, watch them dance upon the currents while asking God to help you to enter these exercises freely and lightly, dancing upon the unforced rhythms of God’s grace.

The Slow Down
Use the slow down as you are able. If the slow down time is producing additional stress rather than freeing you from your concerns and worries, try something else. Remember, the point of the slow down is to help you to prepare your heart, soul, mind and spirit to enter into God’s presence. If the slow down methods are not helpful, please feel free to find other ways to slow down and prepare yourself to enter into God’s presence.

Examen Review
How are you doing at making the noontime and evening examen a part of your daily rhythm? Now ask yourself what some steps are that you could do to make this a more regular practice as you go through the exercises. You might want to refer back to p.28-31 for suggestions regarding this.

Showing Up
Your part is to show up and enter into the exercises for that day, as you are able. By doing that you have offered yourself to God (Romans 12:1) and declared your desire to be with God and hear from God. That is all you can do – now what happens beyond that is up to God. But rest assured to come into God’s presence is to be changed. You may or may not feel something but God is at work.

Perfectionist
If you are a perfectionist or a recovering perfectionist, please be on guard. The structure of the daily exercises can tap into your strong desire to ‘do it right’ and then stir up negative messages of self-condemnation when you feel you have not or are not ‘doing it right’. If you feel yourself stressing about ‘doing it right’ or you begin hearing the internal voices that birth shame and/or condemnation within you, stop and ask God to help you be gracious and patient with yourself. These voices are not coming from God but are rather lies that will distract you and keep you from the journey.

Your Space
The space you use for your prayer times can be help or a hindrance to your time with God. Choose a space that has a minimum of distractions. Keep all the materials (this book, bible, pens, markers, journal…) you use as you go through the exercises together and if possible in the area where you enter into the exercises each day. These simple suggestions can make a dramatic difference in your ability to present to God during your prayer time each day.

Art Time
This could be a great week to get your art supplies out and have some fun during your journaling time using paints, colors, construction paper to communicate your feelings, record the meaningful images that may arise or just to see what happens when you get artsy. Let go of the need to do it well or right and just jump in with both feet and see what emerges.

Resistance
As you journey through the Exercises pay special attention when you experience internal resistance. Whenever you become aware of resistance respond to it as a warning light and seek to discover the source of the resistance. Resistance is a gift from God that invites you to a deeper discovery concerning God and/or yourself. So internally pause and ponder when you become aware of resistance. Ask God to help you discern where this resistance is coming from? What does it reveal about your image, level of belief, love and trust of God? What does it tell you about your sense of self, your identity? Take the time to reflect and unpack your resistance for overtime the results can be life changing. (See Resistance p.47-48)

Reminder
Remember to make use of your examen questions each day at noontime and evening. The consistent use of the examen questions will dramatically increase the transforming power of your life (see p.30).

Putting in the Time
One of the greatest and most consistent of the temptations that will come your way is that of cutting your prayer time short. Ignatius, in the Annotations, gives two instructions [13,14] regarding the importance of spending the full time in prayer. This temptation to cut the prayer time short will be especially strong during times of desolation. But endeavor to spend the time for it is of great value for your heart and soul.

WEEK 1

Be Aware
One of the struggles of Week 1 will be the tendency to enter the exercises intellectually rather than with your heart. This is understandable but not helpful. It is important for you to enter into these exercises emotionally so you can feel sorrow and confusion arise within you as you explore the pervasive reality of sin in the world and in your own life. It will be hard not to want to protect yourself from the pain this week may surface within you but it is this pain that will take you to God, to freedom and lead you to experience God’s love in a deeper way.

Remember
The purpose of Week 1 is not self-loathing, condemnation or hopelessness but a deep awareness of sin in yourself and the world, along with a deeper appreciation and realization of God's love for you.

You are loved
As you focus on your own sin and brokenness remember that your sin does not define you. You are forgiven. You are a saint uniquely loved by God. If you struggle with this then pray this prayer; Jesus, I believe, help me overcome my unbelief.

Desolation
There is up and down dynamic to your experience as you travel through the Exercises. This is normal. During those times seek to continue your journey spending your allotted time in the prayer times, giving special attention to praying the examen while seeking to discern what is the cause of your desolation (see p.114 #9). When in the grip of desolation it will be hard to continue moving through the Exercises but that is exactly what you need to do recalling to mind that this is just a season and God is faithful and ever present no matter what you may be feeling.

Prayer Postures
If you have not yet done so I encourage you to experiment with different prayer postures (kneeling, lying facedown or face up, standing, arms raised, head bowed…). Prayer postures can be an aid in helping us move from head to heart as we come before God. Also, a prayer posture may very well be able to communicate to God what our mere words often fail to convey. Give it a try.

It is not happening
During Week 1 of the Exercises some people get discouraged because they are not moved to tears because of their sin or do not feel like they are able to fully connect emotionally with their sinfulness. Be patient with yourself and trust God and the process. God is at work!

Journaling
It is very helpful to journal through these exercises. Journaling helps you to see patterns in your prayer times, to recall what God has spoken to you; often as you journal, God expands on what you have discovered or been made aware of. I strongly encourage you to journal. It will deepen your experience with the Exercises.

Forgiven and Loved by God
As you are looking at your own sin, recall to mind that nothing can separate you from the love of God and that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you are feeling condemnation during Week 1 it is not coming from God.

Examen Review
How are you doing at making the noontime and evening examen a part of your daily rhythm? Now ask yourself what some steps are that you could do to make this a more regular practice as you go through the exercises. You might want to refer back to p. for suggestions regarding this.

WEEK 2

Recall to Mind
Recall to your mind the focus of your morning mediation throughout your day [130]. This simple practice can radically impact your experience through this section of the Exercises. It helps open you up to God and present an opportunity may be up to present yourself to God throughout your day and serve to remind you that you are living with God, in God and God is living in you.

Opening Time in Prayer
Make sure you fully make use of the slowdown and commitment time that is to begin your time in prayer each day. Do not rush through the opening time. The opening is designed to help you slow down and foster respect for God as you come into God’s presence. This opening involves a conscious effort of presenting yourself before God as a living and holy sacrifice (Rom 12:1) and readying yourself to be present to God. It is a great aid in helping you to fully enter into the Exercises and experience God throughout your day.

I am not doing this right
If you feel that you are not journeying through the Exercises correctly please seek to trust God and trust the process. God is at work. The exercises are bringing you into the presence of God with intentionality – the rest is up to God. Do not try and make something happen. Trust God and trust the process focusing not on what is seen
but on what is unseen and thus eternal ( 2Cor 4:18).

You and Jesus
As you meditate on the various passages of Scripture, focusing on the life of Christ, please be aware of what it is that draws you to Christ, challenges you, amazes you, or gives you pause, causes resistance in you, etc. Please take time to journal about and ponder these internal movements.

Expectations and Jesus
Be aware of your expectation and feelings that may spontaneously arise within you as you enter Week 2 knowing you are going to spend your prayer times walking with Jesus through the gospel narratives. You may anticipate powerfully emotional times, you may be anticipating some jaw dropping experience, mind blowing insights…but you need to come seeking to embrace indifference endeavoring to be present to and trusting of God and the process. Seek to enter each prayer experience expectation free and desiring to ‘show up’ presenting yourself as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – which is your spiritual worship (Rom 12:2).

Imagination
The use of the imagination enables you to incorporate your mind and heart in your times of contemplation or meditation. It is important not to get discouraged because of what you may perceive to be a deficiency in your ability to make use of imagination. The important thing is to make use of your imagination to the degree you are able to do so and trust that God will honor your efforts. The use of the imagination is a powerful tool of illumination and formation that Ignatius incorporated in the Exercises. (Imaginative Prayer see p.36-40)

Showing Up
Your part is to show up and enter into the exercises for that day as you are able. By doing that you have offered yourself to God (Romans 12:1) and declared your desire to be with God and hear from God. That is all you can do – now what happens beyond that is up to God. But rest assured to come into God’s presence is to be changed. You may or may not feel something but God is at work.

Emotions
Beware of what you are feeling about God, yourself, and the exercise of the day. We are often taught to ignore our emotions, but Ignatius found that our emotions are an aid to us in our spiritual formation as we become aware and unpack them. As you pay attention to your emotions and unpack them you will, much like with resistance, learn more about yourself and your image of God in the process. Your emotions will prove to be an excellent source of material for journaling.

Questions and Perspectives
The questions given to ponder and suggestions regarding how to enter into the story are just that, suggestions. These are given to help you get started. In fact in my own journey through the Exercises I found it help to enter the same gospel narrative from a variety of perspectives – a bystander, a disciple, the person interacting with Jesus and even as Jesus. Each different way of entering into the narrative can bring additional insights and opportunity for connection with Jesus. Also putting yourself in the place of Jesus can bring great insight and opportunity to discover some aspects of who Jesus is or how Jesus interacts with others that cause you concern. In short do not feel constrained by the suggested questions or person to be in the narrative – have some fun, explore, experiment always being open to God.

Imagine Freely and Lightly
Do not get bogged down trying to perfectly imagine the scene, especially those of you who like Ignatius have traveled to the holy land. The composition of the scene is but a small part of what imaginative prayer is about. The purpose of imaginative prayer is encounter with the living God through the living word.

Subtly of Temptations
Be on guard. The tactics of temptations can change drastically during Week 2. The evil one will seek to derail your journey by using even good things, godly thoughts, consolations, spiritual insights – but these will take you away form your time in the Exercises. So be aware. If these things take you from the very thing God has called you to then there is a good chance that they are not form God. (See rules of discernment, Week 2 p.150-154)

Resistance
As you journey through the Exercises pay special attention when you experience internal resistance. Whenever you become aware of resistance respond to it as a warning light and seek to discover the source of the resistance. Resistance is a gift from God that invites you to a deeper discovery concerning God and/or yourself. So internally pause and ponder when you become aware of resistance. Ask God to help you discern where this resistance is coming from? What does it reveal about your image, level of belief, love and trust of God? What does it tell you about your sense of self, your identity? Take the time to reflect and unpack your resistance for overtime the results can be life changing.

A Lesson from Children
Children are those who most readily use their imagination – thus there should be a playfulness to this endeavor, a freedom to use our imagination as we can not can’t. Resist the inner voices that may seek to pressure you toi do it right or well instead have fun with it. As you enter into this way of engaging the text your time will be transformed from knowing about Jesus to the experiencing of Jesus and self in life giving and transforming ways

Putting in the Time
One of the greatest and most consistent of the temptations that will come your way is that of cutting your prayer time short. Ignatius, in the Annotations, gives two instructions regarding the importance of spending the full time in prayer. This temptation to cut the prayer time short will be especially strong during times of desolation but in Week 2 and beyond consolations may also take you away from the Exercises prematurely. Be alert and endeavor to spend your time in the Exercises for it is of great value for your heart and soul.

I don’t like Jesus
As you spend time with Jesus day after day you may begin to discover that there are aspects of Jesus’ dealing with people you just do not like. If you discover this do not fret but bring this to Jesus even as you continue your journey with Jesus. As you continue your sojourn with Jesus you will discover that Jesus is much more complicated than we make him out to be. And sometimes he may even rub you the wrong way which is an indication that you are being real and honest with Jesus and with yourself.

Emotions
Pay attention to what you are feeling about God, yourself, and the exercise of the day. We are often taught to ignore our emotions, but Ignatius found that our emotions are an aid to us in our spiritual formation as we become aware and unpack them. As you pay attention to your emotions and unpack them you will, much like with resistance, learn more about yourself and your image of God in the process. Your emotions will prove to be an excellent source of material for journaling.

Reminder
Although the emphasis of Week 2 is on the use of Imaginative prayer please feel free to make use of the lectio divina method (p.XX) from time to time.

Beware of Consolations
In Week 2 and beyond consolations can be used to derail your journey through the Exercises. Be on guard. This often happens during the opening of the prayer time. You will be tempted by insights, worthwhile subjects to ponder, or even a sense to just be with God – though each one of these is good they can actually take you away from the Exercises which God has lead you into. Be alert to this tactic remember that now the evil one can very well appear as an angel of light using good and godly thought for his own ends. You may want to take time to read through the rules of discernment for Week 2. See p.150-154.

Contemplation
Take time at the end of your prayer time each day just to be with Jesus. Do not seek anything from Jesus but just be still and rest in and with Jesus in silence – knowing that Jesus is with you and is actively loving you in this moment and into the next moment.

Recall to Mind
Recall to your mind the focus of your morning mediation throughout your day. This simple practice can radically impact your experience through this section of the Exercises. It helps open you up to God and present an opportunity may be up to present yourself to God throughout your day and serve to remind you that you are living with God, in God and God is living in you.

Questions and Perspectives
The questions given to ponder and suggestions regarding how to enter into the story are just that, suggestions. These are given to help you get started. In fact in my own journey through the Exercises I found it help to enter the same gospel narrative from a variety of perspectives – a bystander, a disciple, the person interacting with Jesus and even as Jesus. Each different way of entering into the narrative can bring additional insights and opportunity for connection with Jesus. Also putting yourself in the place of Jesus can bring great insight and opportunity to discover some aspects of who Jesus is or how Jesus interacts with others that cause you concern. In short do not feel constrained by the suggested questions or person to be in the narrative – have some fun, explore, experiment always being open to God.

Examen Review
How are you doing at making the noontime and evening examen a part of your daily rhythm? Now ask yourself what some steps are that you could do to make this a more regular practice as you go through the exercises.

Contemplation
As you ponder the I am statements of Jesus take time at the end of your time in the exercises each day just to be with Jesus. Do not seek anything from Jesus but just be still and rest in and with Jesus in silence – knowing that Jesus is with you and is actively loving you in this moment and into the next moment.

WEEK 3

Reminder
Did you purchase a crucifix or download an artist’s rendition of the Crucifixion of Christ to use during your prayer times. This is not a requirement but can an aid in helping you to focus on Christ crucified.
Contemplative Eating
This involves first and foremost eating and drinking with a focus on the presence of Christ. Additionally, Ignatius encourages you to eating slowly in silence while exercising moderation and drinking water. Please seek to employ these guidelines during one of your meals each week. See rules for eating p. 218-219.

Setting the Stage
During your prayer time, create an ambience that may be more conducive to entering into the pain and sorrow of Jesus. Some things you might consider doing would be to close the curtains/shutters, darken the room in which you will be spending the time, and use a candle as your light source. You can also use different postures during this time (kneeling, lying prostrate…) to help you engage more fully with Jesus as you enter into the Passion narratives.

Fasting
Additionally, if you are physically able (if in doubt, please visit your doctor before beginning a fast) I encourage you to seek to fast from food (you can have water and fruit juice) for an entire day each week. I would suggest you do so on Friday each week to commemorate Jesus’ death on the cross. See rules for eating p. 218-219.

Showing Up
Your part is to show up and enter into the exercises for that day as you are able. By doing that you have offered yourself to God (Romans 12:1) and declared your desire to be with God and hear from God. That is all you can do – now what happens beyond that is up to God. But rest assured to come into God’s presence is to be changed. You may or may not feel something but God is at work.

Putting in the Time
One of the greatest and most consistent of the temptations that will come your way is that of cutting your prayer time short. Ignatius, in the Annotations, gives two instructions regarding the importance of spending the full time in prayer. This temptation to cut the prayer time short will be especially strong during times of desolation. But endeavor to spend the time for it is of great value for your heart and soul.

WEEK 4

Setting the Stage
Create an ambience that may be more conducive to entering into happiness and spiritual joy that flows from the resurrection of Jesus. Allow the sunshine to fill the room and place potted plants or cut flowers or other things around the room that communicate beauty, joy, and hope to you.

Group Dynamic
It is important to establish at the very beginning that although the group is on the same journey, that journey will be unique for each one of them. The purpose of this journey in not getting to a particular destination, but opening oneself up to God through the Exercises. Some may feel the need to remain in the section focusing on God’s love, others may sense the need to go back through a section (If this happens I encourage them to not feel the need to go through all the material in the previous section but to return to those portions they felt resistance, an invitation, a challenge, or felt nothing).

Group Sharing
Debriefing questions: General questions found on pages 282 or questions in each exercise can be used for group debriefing. And of course you can always come up with your own questions keeping in mind what a good questions is (see pages 283 - 285). Also familiarize yourself with helping a retreatant unpack an experience with God (p. 283).

Group sharing can be very meaningful. Saying out loud something you’ve experienced can make it more real to you. Hearing someone else’s experience can help you touch a new truth for yourself. Another caution: these out loud words can sometimes take us from our hearts back into our heads quite abruptly.

In group sharing, it is important to encourage and welcome the sharing of all kinds of experiences – even if nothing seemed to happen. Remember to stress that imaginative prayer is a way to offer us to God. It doesn’t make God show up. Remind the members of your group that even if it feels like absolutely nothing happened, God is still working in us in ways beyond what we can understand or feel.

PLEASE READ THIS! A caution about Group Sharing:

Be gentle. Create a safe place. How?

• Give absolute freedom to share or not share – stress the value and benefits of both.
• Set up rules which do not allow for cross-talking. No one is free to comment on what has been shared.
• After someone has shared, hold them and their words silently up to God in silent prayer for a few moments.

Here is one way this could be communicated:

“We are going to give anyone who would like to a chance to share. If you would like to briefly share, please do. It can encourage the rest of us. It can sometimes help us to put words to our own experience. Also, naming your experience can help reinforce it, can give it strength. It’s less likely to float away and be forgotten in your mind if you’ve said it out loud.”

“There’s one important rule I need us all to follow. When someone shares there is no cross-talking. That means that no one comments on what another person shares. We listen and give the person sharing our full attention. When someone speaks after an experience like this, they are sharing a deep part of themselves. It’s not our place to comment in any way, during or afterwards. Receive their words like you would a fragile gift. Hold them gently. After someone has finished speaking, we will sit in silence praying for them and holding them and their words up to God.”

It is important to create a group atmosphere that allows people to show and share their experiences freely and honestly and without fear of attack, judgment or even correction. This is your responsibility.

To help ensure that everyone is on the same page regarding sharing and the ethos of the group I suggest making use of a 'Group Covenant'. See example in Group Covenant Link.

A group covenant provides a means of setting up the ground rules that will govern a group as well as creating boundaries that will help promote the ongoing growth and health of the group and of the individuals in the group. Once you have crafted your covenant I would suggest you take time to process through it as a group so that everyone is on the same page as you begin your journey together.

As an individual in this group I will practice:

Loving Acceptance – I will embrace each other’s sameness and differences with equal enthusiasm affirming that each individual is a one-of-a kind masterpiece of God.

Attentive Companioning – I will affirm and care for one another through active listening.

Honest Sharing – I will honor my own boundaries in terms of how deeply I share and I will honor the boundaries of others.

Personal Authenticity – I will share/speak in the first person, claiming my thoughts and experiences as my own, and avoiding generalizations like “the problem with the church is…”, ”everyone needs to be doing…”, God just wants all of us to…”etc..

Commitment to Growth – I will endeavor to spend the time in the materials I have committed to while also realizing, for myself and others, that life is crazy.

Commitment to Faithfulness – I will endeavor to attend all group meetings and come prepared and ready to share openly and honestly.

Steadfast Trust – I will entrust myself, the others in the group and this group to God, acknowledging that it is God who will bring growth and transformation to my life and the lives of others in this group.

Gracious Patience – I will be gracious and patient with others and myself as we enter into the messiness of journeying and growing together as a group.

Sensitive Interaction – I will not offer unsolicited correctives, directives, or “helpful” advice after someone shares, but rather receive their words as a gift to our group and to God.

Liberal Grace – I will seek to believe the best about each person and what they share and say while acknowledging that we are all works in progress.

Healthy Relationships – I will respect each member of the group and deal sensitively with conflict if necessary.

Absolute Confidentiality – I will not speak directly or indirectly with anyone outside our group about anything someone has shared within our group.

Sign and Date:

____________________________________________________________________

_{This exemplar was adapted from a Community Covenant used by CFDM San Diego.}

I normally pray at the beginning and end of a session, while also combining some silence at the beginning of our time together so that we each have the opportunity to still some of the internal noise we carry.

Preparatory Exercises Part 1: A template for your meetings through the 'God Loves You' portion of the Preparatory Exercises( p. 63-77).

The Journey with Jesus now begins in earnest. It is important for you as the guide to prepare yourself for each meeting and to keep in mind that you play a major role in creating the internal and external space that helps the retreatant (group) open up to God and themselves during your time together and beyond it. It is important that you are ‘prayed up’ as they say in the south and that your heart is as much as possible at a place of rest and surrender. Please read through the following in preparation for your meetings.

As you journey with your retreatant (group) during their time in part one of the preparatory exercises it is important to keep in mind the following potential pitfalls. The first and foremost pitfall for this section and all the sections to come is expectations – expectations that this will be a smooth journey and expectations that each day will be a time of great felt connection with God. Both of these expectations need to be dispelled sooner rather than later. The difficulties experienced during this time can come as a huge shock especially given that the focus of this section is God’s love. As people enter into this section many think it will be a glorious walk in the park but soon find out that they do not truly love God in an internalized way – this can be a bit disconcerting to say the least.

Also as you begin this journey please endeavor to not give the impression that people are to march through the materials, nor that the goal is to finish them. The materials are not designed to get through but are a place of encounter with God and self. It is important to encourage those making their way through the Exercises to camp where they experience internal movement, whether it is resistance, peace, invitation, challenge, joy, sorrow…. To help facilitate this awareness there are no dates and no days of the week associated with exercises presented in the book (this is good to point out from time to time). The tendency of those making this journey is to complete the daily exercise and move on, but the goal is for them to open themselves up to God through the exercises and have the freedom to camp in a particular exercise if that is where they sense internal movement. When people make comments like I am behind just respond that that is impossible, how can you be behind? There are no dates you cannot be behind!

There are common struggles that retreatants often experience along the way. It is extremely helpful for you as the guide to have an idea regarding what they will be so please read through the link Dialogue Boxes on the website. A number of these are associated with particular Weeks but it is good to have a sense of them as you journey with another through the Exercises.

Be aware of tendencies of the retreatants to Self–Condemnation, Perfectionism, Discouragement, Unrealistic Expections and Guilt (see website)

During this meeting and the subsequent meetings in this section of the Preparatory Exercises you goals are as follows:

• Help the retreatant to explore and unpack their experience in the Exercises. If appropriate, use the suggested questions (p. 282-285) to help your retreatant to explore their experience.
• Discuss with them the use of the slow down, examen and experience during prayer times (what is difficult, what is easy and what has been happening in terms of feelings, self and God).
• Offer suggestions if needed regarding slow down, incorporating the prayer of examen in one’s life twice a day, staying with a certain passage, repeating a number of the exercises, time spent in prayer….
• Discern if you need to begin sharing/reviewing the rules of discernment.
• Celebrate successes big and small – this is vitally important!
• Be sensitive to any tendency of the retreatant towards self-condemnation, perfectionism, discouragement and unrealistic expectations. These are a few of the tendencies I have dealt with over the years and have found that God often uses the Spiritual Exercises to surface these very things so they can be dealt with (not cured necessarily, but dealt with). For information for helping the retreatant deal with these go to the link entitled: Discouragement, Unrealistic Expectations, Perfectionism and Shame.

The above will basically be the format for all the times you get together with your retreatant. There will be some changes in terms of questions and struggles that commonly arise that will be tied to the different sections (Weeks) of the Journey with Jesus and these will be presented in the appropriate sections on this website. So make sure you read the appropriate sections before you meet with your retreatant.

Discouragement, Unrealistic Expectations, Perfectionism, Guilt, Shame and Self–Condemnation

As people journey through the Spiritual Exercises, there are a number of recurring issues that tend to arise and have the potential of derailing the retreatant along the way. I would say those listed below are among the most common and the most devastating. As the guide, it is important for you to keep your eyes open for these insidious purveyors of mayhem and be prepared to offer aid and assistance to the retreatant as you notice these issues arising in your retreatant. Also, know this: these will not go quietly into the night, but will continue to plague the retreatant. However, as you name these realities they cease to be an unknown and unseen enemy and the retreatant will be able to see, name and deal with them, which in turn will loosen the power and hold of these enemies in the experience of the retreatant. Also, as you see growth, even small growth, in the retreatants in their particular area of struggle, make sure you name and celebrate that!

Discouragement and unrealistic expectations often go hand in hand. Many people begin this journey with a wide variety of expectation concerning their own faithfulness to the daily prayer time and their experience of God during those prayer times. A number of people think the that regiment set out in the spiritual exercises will help them to become a disciplined person, even though, prior to this they where not disciplined. This can quickly lead to discouragement and the desire to stop. They view their lack of discipline as failure. But this is not failure; it is reality, a reality God will use to continue to mold and shape the person into Christ-likeness. I would remind them of baby steps (p.48) and encourage them to celebrate the steps they are taking and seek to build from there.

Another source of discouragement is birthed by an expectation that when they spend their time in prayer each day it will be a glorious time of blessing and revelation. This can be especially acute in the first part of the preparatory exercises when the focus is on God’s love. The thought is that since “I am focusing on God’s love, then I will begin to feel God’s love in an ever deepening and more profound way.” One reality that can emerge at this time is the retreatant realization that they do not really even know God’s love internally and this can be extremely discouraging. Once again you are to come alongside and encourage them on their journey, possibly encouraging them to do optional exercises, but more important, this is the beginning point of their journey and it is a quite common experience for people at this juncture. Sometimes knowing something is ‘normal’ and expected can bring a level of comfort. Above we said that often people would have the expectation that their time with God will always be glorious and filled with blessing and revelation, which will not happen. If you remember in the section entitled Wisdom for Guides, number 3 (see website) told you that prayer time will not always be times of consolation, but their will be an undulating reality to their prayer times. In fact, you were warned that if this ebb and flow is not happening then something is wrong. Once again it is good to name this for the retreatant. A subtle twist on this is the belief, consciously or unconsciously held, that if I do my part God is obligated to give me some kind of felt spiritual blessing. This is an erroneous belief that transforms God into a spiritual vending machine. You need to stress that everything we receive from God is a gift, a result of God’s grace unearned by us. The daily prayer times are a means of presenting ourselves to God, not a way of getting something from God. Be alert to the appearance of discouragement in your directee and work within them to discern what may be the cause, so you can deal with it in the best way possible.

Another deadly trap that seems to ensnare retreatants is perfectionism. The spiritual exercises do not create this tendency, but do often bring a retreatant's prefectionistic tendencies to the forefront. This is usually manifested in their need (more than a mere desire) to do the exercises the “right” way. They often ask many questions about a certain prayer practice the best way to do a slow down, what each examen needs to look like, how long to spend journaling, sitting in silence…they are driven to perform in an acceptable manner, otherwise they begin to heap self condemnation upon themselves that often leads to feelings of shame and self-loathing. Now although perfectionism is powerfully enslaving, the fact is, that since it is so easily seen in this context, it affords you and the retreatant a perfect opportunity to deal with this powerful nemesis. One way I deal with this is using a breath prayer, which I write about below in the self-condemnation section. I have found this to be a very powerful tool in this battle. It provides a means of taking these internal thoughts captive to Christ and replacing them with a powerful God-truth. The other way I deal with their perfectionism is through the use of the review days. I instruct them to do nothing on those days. Now they know they are supposed to review on review days, so this instruction causes some internal unrest, but if they can actually heed my instruction, it begins to loosen their sense of what the ‘right’ way to do the exercises might be. They can begin to learn something about grace. Eventually as I get to know them I may encourage them to paint on those days, to play volleyball, talk a walk, go to a coffee shop, I choose something they like, something they enjoy to help begin to see that this journey is not all about duty and the need to do the ‘right’ thing in the ‘right’ way, but it about presenting ourselves to God, just as we are in whatever we may be doing. Finally, I remind them of one of my favorite quotes: “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” This confounds and gives them something to think about that is very contrary to the way they view and do life. You will pick up on the perfectionism of your retreatant pretty quickly when you do then name it and gentle begin to help them name, own and begin to deal with it. The insidious nature of perfectionism is that they will seek to deal with their perfectionism in the “right” way. It is a battle, but one I have seen great victories achieved in over the years.

The next two foes which many reteatants do battle with are guilt and self-condemnation. I do not think this comes as much of a surprise for we tend to be gracious to others, but are often quick to judge ourselves; we are patience with others but impatient with ourselves when we are struggling or not growing as we think we should (unrealistic expectations). So let us take a moment to look at guilt and self-condemnation.

Many retreatants feel guilty when they miss a day or two in the Exercises. This is not helpful nor is it valid. What I tell retreatants who are feeling guilty is this: Imagine that one of your friends came to visit you unannounced but you were not home at the time; what would you feel? Would you feel guilty or would you feel sad and disappointed that you were not at home when your friend was there because you would have loved to see them? This feeling of having missed an opportunity to be with Jesus and listen to Jesus is what I want you to replace feelings of guilt. When you realize you missed an opportunity to visit with Jesus, think to yourself, “Oh it would have been so nice to have spent time with Jesus this morning.” As people exchange their feelings of guilt with this fresh new feeling of having missed out on seeing Jesus, it will help them to reconnect with Jesus in the now of their life, during the examens that day, and it will set them up for meeting with Jesus in the prayer time the following day. When we feel guilt we tend to hide just like Adam and Eve. When we miss someone this feeling draws us to that other person.

Finally, we arrive at shame. Shame is closely akin to guilt, but is a deeper, more pervasive and damaging emotion. Whereas guilt says, “I did something wrong,” shame says’ “I am bad,” “I am worthiness” and statements along those lines. This shame turns into a voice of self-condemnation. There are many things that can surface this voice of self-condemnation (unrealistic expectations, perfectionism…) and it's feelings of shame. I don't have space to unpack all that but I want to share with you is how I begin to deal with self-condemnation when it arises within the retreatant. What I am about to share is simple, but it is not simplistic. The means I use is called a breath prayer (p. 116). The breath prayer I encourage them to employ is taken from Romans 8:1 “there is no condemnation is Christ.” The retreatant is instructed to make use of this breath prayer whenever they sense feelings of self-condemnation arising within them. The breath prayer is not a one-time cure, but a weapon in their ongoing battle with self -condemnation, a means of taking those thoughts/feelings captive to Christ. I have seen this simple prayer profoundly change the lives of retreatants and it has brought them to greater levels of freedom and the ability to own God’s love and their worth in Christ.

As a guide, it is important to be alert, watching for tell tale signs of any of the above mindsets or tendencies in your retreatant. When you notice them, it is vital that you see this as an invitation to gently begin to help the retreatant to name and deal with them. As they do this it is important to stress that this is not an enemy that is fought and beaten with one battle, rather, this battle will continue. Also, I tell them that as this battle rages on, they may feel that they are not progressing. This is a lie, for to fight this battle is to make progress in the battle, no matter what their feelings may be saying. That is why it is vitally important for you to celebrate their victories big or small.